In my constant desire to grow and understand not only myself, but the way the world works, the way the heart keeps in your chest, the way your brain doesnt somehow just explode in your head, I started to think deeply about a personal quote i left on facebook the other day.
“Regardless of where you are in your life at this moment. Remember a few things. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. For better or for worse, these moments come and dissolve into one another and nothing is constant except change. That should give you excitement in knowing that change is coming and with change, new beautiful things to embrace.”
I forgot to mention one VERY important thing. There is ONE more constant. God’s love. When I wrote that originally I left it out even tho I was being told to say it and not by any means am I ashamed at my beliefs and values but in my infantile state of mind at writing it, i found myself trying to be “relatable” on a grander scale I guess, but what is more relatable than LOVE and more so GOD’s LOVE for us.
I have spent the last 15 years of my life trying to be “relatable” I would get on a stage and travel the world playing for an uncountable amount of kids that I desperately wanted to relate to. I wanted to understand them, and I wanted them to understand me and in that pursuit I have always felt, if you are going leave something behind, let it be something they can never destroy and you will live forever. Save that quote in your heart my friends. Spread the word.
My gift to this world up until this point that will never be destroyed is my music, my love, my empathy, my ability to speak from my core. These things they can never take and the more you perpetuate what it is in YOU that is un-burnable, un-returnable, that is un-mistakable, you will find yourself a little more lost and confused but further along in your growth than you are able to perceive.
I believe truly with all my heart we ALL, everyone of us, YOU you and YOU, are born F14 Tomcat Fighter planes in the good fight which is LIFE. Our jobs, our economical situations, our ethnicities, our genders, our faults and our set backs are not what DEFINE us. Those things never will. We easily end up placing value on the things that are killing us rather than growing us. We place precedence on what we don’t have rather than what we do.
I am guilty of this too. As you grow and go through the various stages of your life, you will find that your mind, body and soul require more than what you have been allowing yourself to have. The minute you stop choosing to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally, is the minute you have already gave him. Most women and men die at 25 and are buried at 75. Great quote! When did we stop believing in ourselves? When did we stop dreaming? When did we stop having faith in Gods love and plan for us?
In a way to relate even more to you I have lately for the first time in my life started to think about children and a family. My hearts desire is now gearing my mind and soul to wrap around the concept of creating life and having a beautiful family. I am not married, in a relationship or planning it here anytime soon, but you heart never lies. As i see pictures of my friends happily married with their beautiful children it tweaks my heart a bit and makes me think “I cannot wait to be an amazing husband, and a great father”. I think it is very important to be able to understand when your feeling ADMIRATION verse DESPERATION and JEALOUSY for what someone else. I never allow myself to look at someone with more money, or more style, or a marriage and COVET what they have. God has blessed me with everything I need right now and because my life is still early on and I have many years to go, I always have to remind myself that “Danny, you are not a microwave, you cannot put a wish and desire into your heart and have it pop out in a minute and 30 seconds. It will come, when it is time”
Anyhow, These thoughts about family never entered my mind space until the last 2 years when I realized that my potential to be these things really excites me. I feel up till now, I have accomplished more than I personally ever dreamed I would do at such a young age, and I am not done just yet however the next phase / pinnacle of my life is coming upon me saying “Danny, I am excited! What is next for you, show me!” and my fear lately has been like many of you “I DONT KNOW!!! Where is this life taking me!?” Right now, I am just trying to wrap my head around the transitions taking place for me right now.
That leads me to this. Where are YOU taking this life?
With all the potential that you possess but are unaware of, what are you doing to access that potential and why are you allowing all this distractions from keeping you from being GREAT!?
We all have our reasons but our reasons become excuses after awhile and after while those excuses become your life trait and that life trait will become your destiny. Will your destiny that you leave behind be one that says “i could have, should have, would have, but i didnt”? If so my friends, they will burn and return that and your mark will be nothing more than actions and words on deaf ears and blind eyes.
Your better than this! You know it, You have always felt it somewhere inside of you. Stronger on some days, very little on others but you always knew that little ember glowing inside of you just needed some wind to spark and ignite.
When you sit back away from your distractions, what is that your heart really desires? Is it a thing, a person, a place, a job, a lifestyle, sobriety, security? What is it in the bottom of your heart that helps you still believe life is worth waking up. What drives you?
I would like for you to leave in the comments below what it is that you want from this life. I would like to know a few things about you…
- What do you feel, is your hearts desire at this moment in life?
- What are you doing, or have you done to attain this desire?
- What are you willing to sacrifice for this desire?
- What are you not willing to sacrifice for this desire?
- What do you feel you will attain by achieving this desire?
Let's Talk Story... 
1.) My heart’s desire is to volunteer anywhere that would help people.
2.) I have researched some websites, but that is about all I have done so far.
3.) I am willing to sacrifice my whole summer in order to volunteer someplace.
4.) I am not willing to sacrifice my schooling in the fall.
5.) I am working on a degree in Social work or some sort of counseling. I believe that volunteering will help me to get a better understanding of people and will help to make others happy. I love doing anything I can to help family and friends so why not help others too.
Thank you for your blog! I really enjoy reading them and it’s nice to know there are other caring and loving people out there that are not selfish.
Good stuff.didnt know you had it in you but you do. Good job.
thank you!
Beautiful blog, but I expected nothing less from such an amazing person.
What do you feel, is your hearts desire at this moment in life?
I have many desires; to be happy,help someone in need, fall in love with the absolute right person, and to be your personal assistant.
What are you doing, or have you done to attain this desire? Put myself in the best possible light, work out four times a week and I think you know the last part.
What are you willing to sacrifice for this desire? A lot of hard work and dedication; with that everything pays in the end; be it life lessons, heartbreak, overcoming fear..all of it is worth it.
What are you not willing to sacrifice for this desire? My morals
What do you feel you will attain by achieving this desire? an incredible soul and self satisfaction knowing that I have helped and made a difference.
My desire leaves me conflicted and confused. I can’t seem to have one without sacrificing the other. And I’m not willing to sacrifice the other. I suppose I should look deeper, start chipping away at the surface and be honest with myself. I have to admit…maybe I am hiding behind the confusion. I guess I am a little scared. The last thing I want is to waste any more time. I don’t want to remain stuck in not doing. It’s getting way too comfortable…
My hearts desire is to become a wonderful mother. My husband and I have been TTC for over a year now and it has yet to happen. I continue to tell myself that if it was our time god would have made it happen. I am trying to get my body in a better physical and mental condition so that when the time is right I will be as prepared as I can be. It is at times heart breaking that it hasn’t happened but I try to hold my head up high and stay positive. Thank you for sharing with us what is in your heart. It has helped me realize that when the time is right and god believes we are ready we will be parents.
your words are beautiful Danny and you never cease to amaze me.. the way you live your life. the passion you exude are always inspirational.. i know that you will go far.. and be remembered always as it is the actions of one that influence others and help them to strive forward and move along with life in the direction that life takes them
What do you feel, is your hearts desire at this moment in life? to finish school so that I can move on to things that I would like to do.. go to culinary school, take on more artistic projects.. use my career to do mission work
What are you doing, or have you done to attain this desire? i am going to school to get my Nurse Practitioner’s license.. one step in front of the other.. one day at a time
What are you willing to sacrifice for this desire? for now.. my time..my true desires.. unfortunately i cannot survive financially with my desires.. so if i can do them when i have free time i will accept that for now until i can do the things i want.
What are you not willing to sacrifice for this desire? my time with my husband, my ability
to have a family and spend time with my family
What do you feel you will attain by achieving this desire? freedom, and ability to do the things i have so waited for..
thanks Danny for getting my brain in check.. take good care my friend.. let me know if you are ever in Washington and we can get together and catch up 🙂
a quote that has always guided me
1. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I tried posing these questions to myself, writing answer after answer, trying to keep it simple. It just didn’t sum up my desires to my satisfaction. So, I am going to just sum it all up with a look into my life and what I want.
I was married and had a child at 19. I’d been on my own for awhile, lived a little and when it came down to it I put my all into my marriage and being a mom. Honestly I didn’t want to marry him. I was planning on breaking up with him when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want to be like so many other girls that I knew, having kids without fathers or multiple kids by multiple fathers. Basically this was it for me, he was the father of my child and I accepted my new life. I will sum up the next few years very briefly. Alcoholism, lies, abuse. I ended up so alone and broken. We had 4 more children over the span of 12 years. I suffered some losses in between and some really hard emotional decisions. I was completely dependent on him. I was scared. Nobody knew he was abusing us, I had told the police more than once and nothing had been done. I didn’t want to be divorced, I didn’t want my children fatherless. Then one night I just had enough. It was a clarifying moment for me. I started planning and saving and I became stronger. I had planned on leaving him after Christmas time, I didn’t want the kids to have that associated with the holiday. 4 days after Christmas I discovered he hadn’t paid the gas bill, I received a 48 hr shut off notice. This was our heat, so I asked him for the money. We fought but he gave it to me. We proceeded to fight and I had it, so I told him I was planning on leaving him. He tried to take the money for the gas back and I fought him. He broke my sternum and ribs. I called the police and he ran. They once again did nothing. I stayed with a friend for a few days, went to women’s refuge and received much needed support. I was free. It’s been almost 7 yrs. I am a single mother of 5 kids. I do not receive child support, he never has a job. He has turned into a junkie, been in rehab, jail and become estranged from his family. My children do not have a father. My entire life is them. I want them to grow up safe and happy. I must be doing something right, my kids are good kids. My oldest just started college, at 17, she has morals and goals. My 13 yr old just started high school and she is in honors classes, is an all around good kid. My 12 yr old is a total nerd and hasn’t found girls to interesting yet, that I know of anyway. My 10 year old has cystic fibrosis but is the most optimistic kid ever. My 7 yr old, America, is a social butterfly and takes such good care of her big brother when he is sick. They are all smart and fun to be around. I wish I could be home more, work less, but I do what I have to to put a roof over their head, food in their mouth and clothes on there back. We do not have cable, video games or anything fancy. They play outside when they can, we live in Washington state, they have great imaginations. My desire? To make sure they are taken care of and loved. It always has and always will be. As for me personally? Some day I want to open a thrift boutique. I have it all planned out, business plan in place, SBA on board and someday I will be my own boss. I will focus on that when the time comes. Right now, my family is what I desire most.
I have God in my heart and I have met the most amazing people because of him. I learned to pray out loud about a year ago and honestly it was the most amazing, overwhelming thing I have experienced in a long time. Sounds like nothing but everyone should try it. There is something about the spoken word that makes you feel like he is listening. Everyday I wake up and I do the best I can. Why? Because I am their mother. I would sacrifice anything for them. They are my motivation, my everything.
Plus, 1 out of 5 has to make it big so they can take care of me later 😉 lol
1.What do you feel, is your hearts desire at this moment in life?
Social/Love life-
A friend. Could that lead to something more down the road? Hopefully! I definantly want a family/children.
Job- Photography,
2.What are you doing, or have you done to attain this desire?
Social/Love life-
I haven’t had much luck. Sometimes I feel quite invisible.
Job-I have shared photos for news stories, contests. Getting my name out there!
3.What are you willing to sacrifice for this desire?
Social/Love life-
Distance,Paitence.
Job-Right now my time because I don’t get paid.
4.What are you not willing to sacrifice for this desire?
Social/Love life-
Trust,Communication, Friendship.
Job- The goal I have. You have to start somewhere and that’s where I’m at
5.What do you feel you will attain by achieving this desire
Social/Love life- The satisfaction of sharing my kindness,A new friend or a relationship.
Job- A paying job,The fact that I can enjoy what I do best.
That’s a whole lot of desires. Are these interviewing questions for a potential wife?! haha