breath

In my constant desire to grow and understand not only myself, but the way the world works, the way the heart keeps in your chest, the way your brain doesnt somehow just explode in your head, I started to think deeply about a personal quote i left on facebook the other day.

“Regardless of where you are in your life at this moment. Remember a few things. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. For better or for worse, these moments come and dissolve into one another and nothing is constant except change. That should give you excitement in knowing that change is coming and with change, new beautiful things to embrace.”

I forgot to mention one VERY important thing. There is ONE more constant. God’s love. When I wrote that originally I left it out even tho I was being told to say it and not by any means am I ashamed at my beliefs and values but in my infantile state of mind at writing it, i found myself trying to be “relatable” on a grander scale I guess, but what is more relatable than LOVE and more so GOD’s LOVE for us.

I have spent the last 15 years of my life trying to be “relatable” I would get on a stage and travel the world playing for an uncountable amount of kids that I desperately wanted to relate to. I wanted to understand them, and I wanted them to understand me and in that pursuit I have always felt, if you are going leave something behind, let it be something they can never destroy and you will live forever. Save that quote in your heart my friends. Spread the word.

My gift to this world up until this point that will never be destroyed is my music, my love, my empathy, my ability to speak from my core. These things they can never take and the more you perpetuate what it is in YOU that is un-burnable, un-returnable, that is un-mistakable, you will find yourself a little more lost and confused but further along in your growth than you are able to perceive.

I believe truly with all my heart we ALL, everyone of us, YOU you and YOU, are born F14 Tomcat Fighter planes in the good fight which is LIFE. Our jobs, our economical situations, our ethnicities, our genders, our faults and our set backs are not what DEFINE us. Those things never will. We easily end up placing value on the things that are killing us rather than growing us. We place precedence on what we don’t have rather than what we do.

I am guilty of this too. As you grow and go through the various stages of your life, you will find that your mind, body and soul require more than what you have been allowing yourself to have. The minute you stop choosing to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally, is the minute you have already gave him. Most women and men die at 25 and are buried at 75. Great quote! When did we stop believing in ourselves? When did we stop dreaming? When did we stop having faith in Gods love and plan for us?

In a way to relate even more to you I have lately for the first time in my life started to think about children and a family. My hearts desire is now gearing my mind and soul to wrap around the concept of creating life and having a beautiful family. I am not married, in a relationship or planning it here anytime soon, but you heart never lies. As i see pictures of my friends happily married with their beautiful children it tweaks my heart a bit and makes me think “I cannot wait to be an amazing husband, and a great father”. I think it is very important to be able to understand when your feeling ADMIRATION verse DESPERATION and JEALOUSY for what someone else. I never allow myself to look at someone with more money, or more style, or a marriage and COVET what they have. God has blessed me with everything I need right now and because my life is still early on and I have many years to go, I always have to remind myself that “Danny, you are not a microwave, you cannot put a wish and desire into your heart and have it pop out in a minute and 30 seconds. It will come, when it is time”

Anyhow, These thoughts about family never entered my mind space until the last 2 years when I realized that my potential to be these things really excites me. I feel up till now, I have accomplished more than I personally ever dreamed I would do at such a young age, and I am not done just yet however the next phase / pinnacle of my life is coming upon me saying “Danny, I am excited! What is next for you, show me!” and my fear lately has been like many of you “I DONT KNOW!!! Where is this life taking me!?” Right now, I am just trying to wrap my head around the transitions taking place for me right now.

That leads me to this. Where are YOU taking this life?

With all the potential that you possess but are unaware of, what are you doing to access that potential and why are you allowing all this distractions from keeping you from being GREAT!?

We all have our reasons but our reasons become excuses after awhile and after while those excuses become your life trait and that life trait will become your destiny. Will your destiny that you leave behind be one that says “i could have, should have, would have, but i didnt”? If so my friends, they will burn and return that and your mark will be nothing more than actions and words on deaf ears and blind eyes.

Your better than this! You know it, You have always felt it somewhere inside of you. Stronger on some days, very little on others but you always knew that little ember glowing inside of you just needed some wind to spark and ignite.

When you sit back away from your distractions, what is that your heart really desires? Is it a thing, a person, a place, a job, a lifestyle, sobriety, security? What is it in the bottom of your heart that helps you still believe life is worth waking up. What drives you?

I would like for you to leave in the comments below what it is that you want from this life. I would like to know a few things about you…

What do you feel, is your hearts desire at this moment in life?
What are you doing, or have you done to attain this desire?
What are you willing to sacrifice for this desire?
What are you not willing to sacrifice for this desire?
What do you feel you will attain by achieving this desire?

Really looking forward to your answers, would love to possibly help guide and steer some of you who need it, into the right directions. Until then… be well, be blessed xoxox

the tightening of my chest reminds me im human,
the twisting of my stomach tells me im real,

dont forget to breath my mind says to my lungs assuring me, this too will pass.

a drop of time and an ounce of my heart will scream in this vessel that i call my body.
id slam the doors and bust things but im only good at breaking hearts lately.

chills form on the top of arms reminding me that this is what happens for being who you are,
you could change, but it wouldnt be you, and change may alter the future of who you are to become,

and THAT is what eats at the core at me. What if change was exactly what I needed. What if change brought forth a better person.

However what if change were a temporary visitor only to be put on by me for a short period of time until that visitor was no longer welcome in my body.

Ive never been fake to the sake of being fake. Ive always kept it real because thats who I am. I know ill probably be a lonely man and what is wierd is that feeling does not scare me. I dont live my life needing anything more than what I already have.

I do however live my life wanting the things I dont have. Its such a paradox and Im in a parallel.

I can hear sirens passing by right now and it feels like they couldnt be more dead on to how my heart feels right now. “emergency, emergency” it screams out.

…and just like that, its gone.

…and dont forget to breathe it says. dont forget to breath or youll kill 2 people, not just one.

What my body doesnt realize is that maybe a part of me has died and my heart is in a vegetative state where it pumps and runs through its motions because. Just because.

Noone will ever know me like i know me. Well, thats not true, one person knows me like i know me. I mean, noone on earth, will ever know me like i know me, and please (hold back your “well duh” statements) because im saying this off the cuff and it has a deeper meaning than a surface value sentence. I mean it like… it may be my fault why noone will ever know me like I know me, but even if i was completely honest, i dont think anyone would ever believe me.

I guess im just so complex that a normal human to human love is something i feel i give strongly but when i get into a relationship with a person it changes. Not for the better either. I am built to love every human i come in contact with and i dont mean a physical love. I mean a mental emotional love to where I care about everyone more than myself. I wanna know how you felt when this happened, and i wanna know why you did that and i want to know what it felt like to lose your father and so on and so on. I wanna feel with you and for you. I am working on this because I believe I can completely give all of me to one person, or maybe its about finding the person who can love you, take your love and not ask for more than you can give at any given moment. Just being satisfied with who you both are in every moment you share.

I think it is possible and i think every situation and person is unique.